Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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