plz talk dirty to me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
