I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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