the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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