I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I lost the right to judge tonight
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
