my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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