South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
