You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
