just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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