I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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