So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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