i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
