he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
