I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
