the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
