I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
