We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
