it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
