great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
