somebody snuck up and got me drunk
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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