I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he was CRYING into my vagina
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
And the cops told us we were all naked.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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