Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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