just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
