Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
