I could make wine with my vomit
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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