Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
