I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
