and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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