They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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