Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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