I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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