I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
