birth control should be required to get into college
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
