My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
