hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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