Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
sex in a hospital.. check
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
