She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
