he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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