I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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