If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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