So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
