I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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