My friends, they love my intelligence
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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