Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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