i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
that's an acceptable place to lick
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
