I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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