He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
