I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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