i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize