I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
