similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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