I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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