quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
