we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
