trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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