Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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