woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
