What a fucking waste of an outfit
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
