I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
