y did u give ur computer a hand job?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
