Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
