i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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