hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
