return my video game
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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