omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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