I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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