Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize