I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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