$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
