I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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