i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
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I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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