don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
