the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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