Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
